Friday, January 23, 2009

Poop Birds squatting on Mr Roger's inside shoes?

Poop bird (n): Funny combination of two nouns that just don't belong together, yet the linear conglomeration of them make comical consortum in my kids eyes.

Early this morning, while getting ready to walk out the door for work, my kids are usually just getting up to start their day. As they trot up the stairs still in a sleep induced haze, they are usually cognitive enough to tell me good morning as I return a mere jester of my comical love.

As soon as I utter, "Top 'o the morning poop birds," do I realize that I have done something to my youngest daughter. That 'something' was what all of us have gone though one time or another in our lives. That 'time' where that 'some thing' that you've heard or seen a million time before suddenly makes 'sense'.

I've never seen more combustible laughter in my house like that before. It goes to show that when you observe your child finally understand and get humor is probably one of the best days of your life.

On this very same day, I walked in the door as I normally do after a good ol' day at work, take off my 'outside' shoes and, routine, as always, put on a pair of nice, comfortable old man slippers. What's sad, is that it finally sunk in what I've been doing for the past year: I'm, in a very slight sliver of a way, finding myself putting reminiscent scenes from Mr Rogers in my life with one of them being having a pair of dedicated inside and outside shoes.

In retrospect, I've found that as I'm not as old as I appear, life is worn on a good path in parts of my life. And as I find myself picking up old man habits well before 30, it's nice to know my kids still glow some of that youthful humor anyone with half a pulse can appreciate.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Macgyver's Vengence Against Wal-mart?

I've always had a personal disgust for Big Corporation, specifically Wal-mart. They'd wiggled their ways into our lives and we are all forced to succumb and bow our heads as we shuffle into fucking Wal-mart because it would be a financial stupor otherwise to go to 3-4 different places to conduct the same shopping experience because they stifle competition and harbor any chance local companies have to succeed without having to make their wares less competitive and more expensive.

What Wal-mart provides in low prices and having everything in one general store location they uttery lack in a plethora of other categories: customer service, item availability, satisfaction, accountability, genuine item authenticity, ethics, morals and, point blank, doing what is right.

So, why do I say all this? More importantly, what the hell does it have to do with Macgyver?

Answer: a lot.

I'm a big Macgyver fan, and I happened to have some gift card balance left and I needed one last season to complete my Macgyver DVD collection, so I ordered it on I went to pick it up at the local store late last evening and this morning I opened up the so-called 'newly' sealed DVD series of Macgyver.

What I found in the DVD case was, well... a bit of shock and awe for me. All 3 DVD cases were shattered with plastic bits all over and the most bizarre bit of it all is 4 of the 6 DVDs had finger prints on them! (Yes, I said finger prints)

I call Wal-mart customer service for and they were certainly *not* helpful. I was told I could buy a new one again on their online shopping store and then on my own dime, return the DVD set to the store. Not an option for me considering I got shafted the first time buying from their online store.

I then, in turn, called the local Wal-mart store customer service, which started out really promising, offering me exactly what I wanted: My money back so I could go buy my beloved Macgyver season somewhere else in town. I made it clear that they let the customer service department know the arrangement so I'm not wasting my time driving into the store to get the run around.

When I got to my local Wal-mart store, it was a COMPLETELY different situation. Customer service pretended as if I had not called at all and told me I was stuck with only being able to exchange the item because I opened it. After stating that I've called already and getting confirmation I could get my money back because you didn't have that particular season in the store, I was then asked if I understood the quote/unquote "Federal Copyright Act".

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! So not only was I getting treated like an asshole, I was also getting accused of somehow making copies of this Macgyver DVD series and trying to return it to the store. That was the deal breaker and I let loose on the obese, naive and obviously clueless customer service rep who obviously could have given two shits about listening to my situation nor cared enough to get the information on my arrangement I made prior to driving in.

It's safe to assume that perhaps she didn't know about it, however, after getting quite pissed off at the fact that I was accused of DVD piracy, one of her co-workers said, "Hey, is that Macgyver Season 5?" The plump wonder I was dealing with, followed up sharply with, "Yes it is, Season 5 of Macgyver." this is where I finally got justice in a sarcastic sort of way. The co-workers then says, "That's already been approved, so give him his full refund back already." What sweet victory is was.

What the fuck ever happened to the customer is always right? What ever happened to customer service being courteous and astute to customers? What ever happened to the commitment to customers? What ever happened to customer product satisfaction?

The day I am done buying diaper pull-ups. baby wipes and other family items that otherwise are expensive in other stores are over, so are my fucking days of buying anything else at Wal-mart.