Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Gorilla Computer Game Port to Windows

I'm diving pretty heavily into C# and thought I'd use my new famed skills to re-write (not so much 'port' the program line for line from it's BAS life) the coolest fucking game ever written: Gorilla from DOS 5.

If you dont know what I'm talking about, you're either too young or a homo (or both). I used to play this on my old man's Windows 3.1 workstation when I would visit him at his workplace many years back and I used to kick my twin brothers ass in it, too. It should be pretty kick ass once I get it written.

Still clueless on what game I'm talking about? If so, go here: Gorilla Wikipedia

The Arabic Chai King

So I was fortunate enough after a one year tour in Iraq to smuggle home some of the loose leaf black tea the Iraqi folk use to make their chai tea. All I can say is I have come damn close to perfecting it. If only I could have smuggled that old Iraqi man who made this sweet elixer on our base in my duffle bag too...

It's a tricky deal (atleast for me) to get timing of the boiling and simmer of the tea leaves once added to the boiling water just right; it's a combination of looking for the right color, smell and taste. I use a heaping tablespoon of tea to a little over 1 cup of water. Maybe I don't do it right, but any other combination I've tried leaves it too bitter or with no taste at all.

I don't add all the hoo-ha to my tea like some people do either; milk, cardamon seeds, ginger, cinamon and shit like that only takes away from the true flavor. I just put enough sugar to balance out the bitterness.

Anyrate, If you're any sort of tea drinker and you haven't tried this shit yet, drop me a line, I'll gladly hook you up with a tea bag to sample it.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Did I say I hate dumbshit kids who litter, too?

Now that I'm on the rant of loud, ignored, barking dogs, I'd also like to express my extreme hatred for dipshit kids who trot through everyone's yards (including mine) to get to their destination and throw their soda/gatorade/water bottles diliberately into the yard they are passing through.

Why, you say? I was working on my patio yesterday afternoon and pair of walking cockbags (one who was stuck in the 80's and thought the sporting mow-hawk and the Ramones where still "cool", and the other who was putting up a good fight in the race for the "Look just like Eminem" award) were passing through my yard and "Eminem" finished his soda and threw the bottle over his head and it landed in my yard. I quickly shouted out for him to pick up and bottle and throw it in a garbage can, and after a blank stare (which easily confused me with the "tough guy" stare) he moped back to the spot where the bottle landed, picked it up and went back on their merry, gay way.

After getting back from eating out with some friends, I went out to water my garden and landscaping plants and just what do I find in my yard by my patio where I was working? "Eminem"'s soda bottle.

...If you read blogs a lot Shitbag-1 and Shitbag-2, I will remind you that I will be kicking your dirtbag asses next time I see you parading around my area.

Good. I feel much better. Don't feel bad; my wife got a worse storyboard version.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Why Do Dogs Exist on this Earth?

At this point in my life, I've come to a very narrow conclusion that all dogs on this earth should be tossed into a big fucking hole, dowsed in gasoline and set a-flame.

When did people think that it's acceptable to purchase a domestic animal (such as a 'dog') spend gobs of money on pouring a concrete pad, putting up a zoo-like cage for it to roam around in and then... leaving it out there for the remainder of it's life, never paying the animal one bit of attention and further more, let it bark every minute of the damn day and at every damn thing on this PLANET; moving or not; living or not.

Moments like this make me wish there were more Korean or Chinese restaurants in the area I live; free meat, 100% profit.

...and if you know who I am and live by me, then take responsibility for your pet, shitbags.